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You’re the Only You: You Can’t Be Anyone Else

Written By: Lauren Howard

My comparison game is strong lately.

The problem is that that game is losing every single time.

Like, every time.

Building in new places has given me even more opportunities to wonder if my instincts are enough. Am I creative enough? Should I do what other people do? Should I try to copy what seems to be working for people who have done this before?

As if I didn’t spend a lot of years of my life trying to be someone that I’m not and trying to fit into the boxes that other people told me were the only way to succeed.

As if doing exactly that didn’t make me endlessly miserable for a long, long time.

I know all of these things intellectually, but that doesn’t make it easier to keep the brain dogs at bay when insecurity pops up.

I repeat something to myself over and over. It helps about 20 percent of the time.

“Don’t compare your Chapter 2 to someone’s Chapter 20.”

If the only thing you take from this is that, that’s enough. Please don’t take my terrible execution of it. You can definitely do that better.

The reality is that the way someone is supposed to do things does not mean it’s the way you’re supposed to do things. The way someone has found success does not mean it will work for you. And if it feels wrong, it’s probably wrong.

You’re the only you. You can’t be anyone else.

That’s pretty cool.


Founder & CEO at elletwo


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It's so hard to stop comparing ourselves to others when media does exactly that ALL THE F'ING TIME. No wonder it's so automatic: it's around us everywhere!

Slowly, I'm learning to stop the comparing. But holy smokes that's a tough one to crack!


Amber Hammes
Amber Hammes
Aug 09, 2023

You said what you said. You said it all perfectly.

I can only add - everyone has a different superpower. That's why we need teams.

What do you bring to the table? Ask a friend, they know.

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