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Wash Your Hands

Written By: Lauren Howard

Sometimes, you take your kids to the world’s largest arcade because they want to go to the world’s largest arcade even though the world’s largest arcade also happens to be an actual petri dish.

Then, you brace yourself for the inevitable sniffles because these monsters wanted to spend $60 to get a $5 stuffed unicorn at Prizeland.

Oh, and a tiara. Don’t forget the tiara. The tiara has barely been taken off for sleep.

I have piles and piles of work to do today, but instead, I’m doing my most important gig of wiping noses, patting backs, and listening for wheezing. The rest is just going to have to wait. In a few days, I will inevitably have my own sniffles and be cursing almost every decision we have made in the last week, but parenting is not a game of logic. It’s a game of survival at all costs, and kid giggles are currency.

If you need me, I’ll be slinging chicken soup and hitting “skip” on the Bluey theme song to try to keep my seven-year-old in bed until I hear the other one start to cough. Then, we’ll make room in bed and start over.

This is basically a house of dominos at this point.

Wash your hands.


Founder & CEO at elletwo


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