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Writer's pictureLauren Howard

Tepid Mess

Written By: Lauren Howard



I was never the girl who stumbled home in the morning, hungover and wearing last night’s clothes, while some nameless gent slept it off wherever I was coming from.

No nameless ladies, either. That’s probably the real tragedy. I had some wild oats, but I never sowed them.


I never had a wild streak. Never got into trouble. Never turned work in late. I occasionally got side-eye for being mouthy and once got sent to the principal’s office because I talked back to my English Lit teacher who wouldn’t take the work that wasn’t in the grade book because my dad had emergency heart surgery and I forgot.


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