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Ask L2: Abusive Boss and HR is Unsupportive

Updated: Sep 20, 2023

“I talked to Human Resources about his abusive attitude . . . HR told me to talk directly to him. WTF. HR did not have my back at all.”

Disclaimer: Identities are kept confidential. The advice given here should be taken at your own risk. If you are having true mental or physical issues, please seek professional assistance.

Hi! I'm an Event Marketing Manager that reported to a Director of Marketing. He's quite the abusive asshole in every way. During our 1-1 weekly meetings, he reminds me that I work FOR him every single time. Even slapping his hand on the table hard and pointing his finger in my face! "Don't you forget, you WORK FOR ME," he shouts.

I talked to Human Resources about his abusive attitude, his nosiness about my personal life, and his constant micromanaging of me. HR told me to talk directly to him. WTF. HR did not have my back at all. Useless. I've been doing events/trade shows for 20 years - he is in no way qualified to be my boss.

Additionally, we had a round of layoffs. He pushed me forward to get laid off. Why is this OK in the corporate world? His marketing experience was legit but I felt like we should have complimented each other's experience. Instead, HR did not help me by reporting his abuse and I now have no job because of him. How is this right???


It's not right. That's the answer. There isn't a way to make it right. That said, it's real. Even though it sucks to lose your job and everyone wants to be able to leave on their terms, this sounds like an abusive environment that you needed to get out of anyway. Sure, it would have been better for you to be able to find another job, put in your notice, and leave under better circumstances, but sometimes we don't get perfect. Someone would get exactly one chance to stick their finger in my face and yell at me. It sounds to me like you tolerated much more than anyone should be expected to, and you will land somewhere better once the sting of all this wears off.



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Amber Hammes
Amber Hammes
Sep 13, 2023

Hire an attorney friend.


Just awful and I am sorry that you had to endure this a-h! Unfortunately this is so pervasive in work culture, it is frightening. Happened to me and I realized that HR only is useful for the company not its employees, they pick the person they can push around the most and it is usually women. Just awful for everyone.

Replying to

What i said to myself after hiring a lawyer!!!!!

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