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Ask L2: Including Allies in the Conversation

“Have you given thought to including men who want to do better and want to be allies?”

Disclaimer: Identities are kept confidential. The advice given here should be taken at your own risk. If you are having true mental or physical issues, please seek professional assistance.

I was running a girls-only camp last summer and we had a lot of conversations about the girls-only space; we were beginning to conclude that our camps should also include "allies" (which would include nice boys, in that age group).

Have you given thought to including men who want to do better and want to be allies? Is there a space somewhere for that here or elsewhere (I see that L2 doesn't card, so a fellow could join and just play nicely, but that seems disingenuous!). I'm she/her, but I'm kinda tired of women bearing the load of feminism.


You are right, women should not bear the primary load for feminism. It always falls on the harmed and marginalized to do the work of fixing the harm and the margins. When we say we don't check your credentials in our space, it means that we support you to join if you identify as a woman at any time. It doesn't mean that we welcome people who identify as male into this specific space. There are so many amazing male allies in my life and in our greater community, and I consider myself fortunate to have them in our corner.

That said, we built this space to be safe for a reason. There are things we can say in a femme-only space that we wouldn't be comfortable saying otherwise. There are things that femmes and women can relate to that would totally fly over the heads of anyone who doesn't identify as such. So, no, we won't be opening up the membership to allies even if we love them deeply. This is the thing that is for us and we don't have to center men, even allies, in that space at all. Oh, and we're not gonna.



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