Written By: Lauren Howard
I made a mistake. I listened to other opinions rather than my gut.
My business was growing and doing well on its own. I was growing multiple income streams. I was on track to beat my previous salary, but I wasn’t there yet.
I felt so good about what I was doing, but there was still that voice.
The voice of my family members who said that working for myself wasn’t guaranteed and was too risky with small kids.
The voice of my own doubt that said this success could run out at any minute and I shouldn’t rely on it.
The voice of my Imposter Syndrome saying that someone was going to figure me out.
So when someone offered me a job in a space that I was familiar with but not exactly excited about, I took it because I thought it was what I was supposed to do.
Everyone said it was, right?
I wasn’t ever really content with the idea, but security is good, right? No need to bet on yourself when other people will bet on you with a salary, right?
I knew on my first day that there was something that didn’t align, but I figured it was just new job jitters.
Then, a month in and two months in, when those things didn’t go away, I started to bargain with myself. Just stay long enough for this. Just stick it out until this thing launches.
I wasn’t looking forward to it. In fact, I kind of dreaded it.
But I was doing what I was supposed to, right?? Supposed to according to whom?
Somebody who wasn’t me.
Conventional wisdom. Whatever that is.
Well, not a lot about my life has been conventional, and, honestly, the unconventional parts are what I have loved most.
After four months of uncertainty, a new opportunity for my own company popped up on the same day that we hit an impasse on pandemic travel.
We parted ways amicably and I remembered that my instincts got me this far.
Listen to your gut. It doesn’t lie to you.
Oh, and now I've beaten my previous salary several times over so . . . thanks, gut.
Founder & CEO at elletwo