Ask L2: Lack of Leadership
" I feel like this is an appropriate forum to ask if I should be looking at this differently? Am I becoming defensive too quickly, is this gaslighting?"
Disclaimer: Identities are kept confidential. The advice given here should be taken at your own risk. If you are having true mental or physical issues, please seek professional assistance.
The lack of leadership is evident in my nonprofit organization. Only rivaled by the lack of communication. I have tried to diplomatically share what our departments could use to be more functional and last time around was told, “hang tight, things will change.”
Today we found the “10 differences between Winners and Whiners,” taped on the office kitchen cabinet. If you’re not familiar, good. I can’t help but wonder whether a winner or a whiner silently hangs such a document in one’s office kitchen. I feel like this is an appropriate forum to ask if I should be looking at this differently? Am I becoming defensive too quickly, is this gaslighting?
Or could I be part of the problem? I do believe that just complaining about issues, without ever looking for solutions can be futile. But, in this case the hypocrisy feels so, very, hurtful. Our leaders chose THIS as a solution to low office morale? Instead of leading by example, communicating, sharing a vision and encouraging us to come together?
I would love feedback to help me sort through all sides of such a gesture.
Thank you for creating a comfortable environment to discuss.
Um, gross. What is their definition of winner? Someone who quietly accepts all of the gross mismanagement of a company because it makes the leadership feel more secure? If you have a Human Resources department, I would take it to them. If you feel like it’s a direct attack against your attempts to improve things, then it doesn’t matter if it was or not.
They should have thought about that before hanging something so miserable and divisive in common areas. The idea that speaking up about organizational problems makes you a “whiner,” is out-dated, hustle bro nonsense that speaks exactly to the kind of culture that you don’t want to be part of.
Devaluing useful, positive discourse down to something my toddler does when I won’t give her cookies? That’s bull, and they should know it. You are not wrong in feeling hurt by it. It means that someone in leadership isn’t taking employees with genuine concerns seriously, and it means that the rest of them don’t see a problem with this kind of over-simplification of complex communication. Again. Gross.