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Ask L2: Is This It?

"All I am trying to do is regroup and get my life back together . . . I am so frustrated and wonder if, at my age, this is it."

Disclaimer: Identities are kept confidential. The advice given here should be taken at your own risk. If you are having true mental or physical issues, please seek professional assistance.

Last July, I lost my job and still haven't found employment. In October, I lost my apartment and was homeless. I moved in with my ex-fiancee's ex-wife (her idea) and that turned into a roommate domestic violence situation. After bouncing around several domestic violence shelters and living on the street in six cities in eight months, I finally found an apartment.

I'm down to my last $5 and am trying to re-launch my freelance writing business, which I operated for seven years. After one of my short stories was published in an anthology, I closed the business to focus on fiction writing.

I provide health content writing, proofreading, and copy editing services. Eventually, I want to add audiobook narration to that. Along with this, I want to start a paid subscriber-based newsletter for gynecologic cancer survivors and use the proceeds from this to not only offer free patient navigator services but as income.

I already have a built-in subscriber base thanks to my years of advocacy in the gynecologic cancer space. I'm a nine-year endometrial cancer survivor and advocate. I'm a patient rep with the FDA, a consumer reviewer with the DOD, and serve on the IRB at Washington University, among others.

Here is where I just need to vent. I wanted to set the newsletter up on Substack. However, they use Stripe to process payments. Stripe requires you to have a bank account. I don't have a bank account and can't find a bank that will let me bank with them. So I thought I would go with WordPress. To use any of the WordPress newsletter plugins, I first have to purchase a $40 business plan. To further complicate things, I recently found a lump in my left breast.

All I am trying to do is regroup and get my life back together. Sadly, it all takes money . . . money I don't have. I am so frustrated and wonder if, at my age, this is it. I'm going to be 60 years old next month.

In September, I'm planning to thru-hike the 160-mile-long River to River Trail in southern Illinois and next year, for my 10-year cancerversary, I'm planning on thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Right now, I just feel like this is it.


This isn't it. I have $40 for you if that will help you get to the next step. So there's that. I'm sorry that things have been so hard and that the hits keep coming. You've gone through it enough times for multiple lives, and I need you to know that this isn't it. This is one thing or maybe a few things, but it's not all the things.

Have you been able to find community at all? Are there any places that you've found psychological safety where you can ask for help or just support while you take the next step? More than that, how can we support you?

Can we help you find a local agency that might be able to help you get a bank account? There has to be an organization that does that. I know Walmart (and I'm sure other organizations) has some pre-paid bank account programs that have helped people get established with their first debit card and deposit account, and that might be a great place to start. If that's the biggest barrier you're facing, I think we can easily tackle that one together.

Tell us what you need and how to support you, and I'm sure we have the resources and brains to figure it out. You don't have to navigate this all alone. That's how I know that this isn't it.



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